The NHL is back in Winnipeg

TSN: TRUE NORTH BUYS THRASHERS, SET TO MOVE TEAM TO WINNIPEG

Fifteen years after the departure of the Jets, the city of Winnipeg has arrived at a triumphant moment that many thought would never come.

NHL hockey is returning to the Manitoba capital.

The True North Sports and Entertainment group announced on Tuesday that they have completed a deal to purchase the Atlanta Thrashers and move them to Winnipeg in time for the 2011-12 season.

The whole mythology that's grown up in Canada about NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is laughable, and it should really be properly documented for posterity. There seems to be a huge bunch of people who genuinely believe that he's evil, and that he hates Canada and hockey. In this lunatic view, the reason that, say, the Jets moved to Phoenix is because Bettman hates Canada. In their view, this relocation is a victory for Canada, because Bettman's evil plans have been foiled and another franchise is moving to Canada, where hockey "belongs".

What few people seem to want to remember is that the Winnipeg Jets became the Phoenix Coyotes because they couldn't make the franchise work in Winnipeg. Here's a snippet from the TSN article:

The team will play out of the MTS Centre, which opened in 2004 and has a capacity of just over 15,000 seats.

With a population of 762,600, Winnipeg will be the smallest market among the 30 NHL cities.

It's also the smallest arena. It remains to be seen if the new Winnipeg franchise is going to be any more successful than the previous one. There doesn't really seem to be any reason why it would be.

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Another thing that gets lost in the conversation is the overall reason why hockey franchises have been established in the southern parts of the US in the first place: only by bringing hockey to new markets will the sport expand. Hockey in California has been a success, with Anaheim bringing the Cup home and the Sharks strong contenders. On the other seaboard, Tampa made a great run for the Cup this year and already have one under their belt. Dallas's ownership situation is currently in flux, but when it's all worked out, there's another strong "southern" team with a Cup win.

By being in new markets and succeeding there, these teams are doing what no franchise in Canada ever can: bringing hockey to a whole new audience and broadening the game's markets. There's value in that for the whole hockey community, which the league recognizes in its franchise location policy that Bettman implements. That Canadian fans won't recognize this just speaks to the ridiculous parochialism that is Canadian hockey culture. The whole notion that hockey "belongs" somewhere is moronic in itself, but placing this kind of jingoism over a sensible market strategy is just madness.

Let me make clear that I'm not against relocating teams to Canada. However, I'm also not against relocating teams to the US either, or even Mexico if someone wants to give it a shot. It's a free market, so anyone who wants to put their money on the line, goes through the proper motions and has some kind of sensible plan is, in my opinion, more than welcome to buy an existing franchise and move it somewhere else.

A few years back the Islanders' owner was teasing the idea that the Isles would move to Kansas City, which has long been in contention for a new franchise. As it was, the move was likely just a PR strategy designed to get the city of Long Island to invest in a new arena. Given the Isles' abysmally low attendance record, though, I'm not sure it wouldn't actually be a really good idea to move. If I'm not wrong, that would be the first time a Cup-winning team in the modern era relocated after the win; the Montréal Maroons tried to relocate after their win but it didn't work out. The Maroons, by the way, are also the only Cup-winning modern team to become defunct.

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As a final point, there's a push to have the Thrashers renamed the Jets when they land in Winnipeg. I have to say that I strongly dislike the idea, because the Jets franchise is still around; it's just called the Coyotes now. Sure, we've had two separate franchises both called the Ottawa Senators, but they were separated by over half a century. As the Thrashers were named after the state bird of Georgia, a name change seems reasonable enough, but really, in my opinion they should come up with their own name.

At the very least, it's going to be weird if there's a Winnipeg Jets franchise in Winnipeg, but the old Winnipeg Jets' retired numbers are in Phoenix. It's not the same franchise, so it shouldn't have the same name. It's that simple!

This isn't the first time Atlanta has lost an NHL team; in 1980, the Atlanta Flames relocated to Calgary, where they remain today. Incidentally, that team apparently took its name from when Sherman burned Atlanta; I'm not sure what was burned in Calgary. Calgary was a much smaller market than Atlanta, but the Flames' financial situation in Atlanta had been very poor and their lack of a TV contract had made it very hard for them to compete with the other teams in town.

Relocation isn't always a great success, though, even when it's a move north: the Kansas City Scouts only spent six seasons as the Colorado Rockies until relocating a second time to New Jersey. As I said, I don't see any compelling reasons why the new Winnipeg franchise would be any more successful than the old one, so even though the deal is for 15 years, we'll wait and see.

World champions 2011

Here's some pictures I took of the world championship celebrations in Helsinki on Monday. Unlike most pictures on my blog, these ones I actually took myself, so they're covered by the same CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 license as the text. Enjoy!

Even Helsinki's biggest department store got in on the act:

The flood of people started on Aleksanterinkatu...

...watched over by black helicopters:

For any foreign readers, I should explain that Finnish people don't do this kind of thing. In my lifetime, I only remember two other times like this: the previous world championship in 1995 and when GWAR won the Eurovision Song Contest.

They must have done pretty well on those Finnish flags.

Like I said, this isn't exactly normal for us. There were people on top of tram stops:

Kappeli restaurant:

Kauppahalli:

Traffic signs:

And traffic lights!

You could easily pass this one off as a picture from a revolution in Helsinki.

We're being told that there were nearly 100,000 people present.

Despite appearances, I don't think that's actually a neo-Nazi rally on top of a collapsing roof.

There were fireworks, somewhat pointless in the bright sunlight...

...which did cover the Orthodox cathedral in St. Paulesque smoke.

Even the crane operator got in on the celebrations.

And here it is: the world championship trophy. That's as good a look at it as we got!

And finally, on what could be construed as a nauseatingly patriotic note, a powered paraglider. It isn't; that just happens to be a perfect picture to end this post with.

Winning!

First of all, the divine Maria Sharapova won at Rome:



But more importantly, there was the hockey world champs in Slovakia. Luckily Mats Sundin explained to Aftonbladet that it's absolutely impossible for Finland to defeat Sweden in the finals.

The Swedish media agreed, with Aftonbladet posting a cute picture of a baby lion on their front page, to highlight just how "child's play" it would be to defeat Finland.

Good thing that didn't happen.

I mean, gosh, that would be embarrassing.

Here's a Swedish hockey song from the last time it was impossible for Sweden to lose to Finland in the finals.

One of a kind

Last friday 2011-05-13 Finland's Mikael Granlund scored a nifty goal against Team Russia at the Ice Hockey World Championship:



The goal has caught the attention of hockey fans around the world. TSN, Canada's sports leader, has an article on the goal.

TSN: FINLAND'S GRANLUND SCORES POSSIBLE GOAL OF THE YEAR

Early in the second period of Finland's semifinal win against Russia, Granland gathered the puck deep along the end boards in the Russian zone, stick-handled past a defender and behind the net, flipped the puck onto the blade of his stick, and flung it into the Russian's net, lacrosse style, to give the Fins a 1-0 lead.

TSN then goes on to make a strange claim:

Twice before has a goal like Granlund's been scored. In 1996, the University of Michigan's Mike Legg defeated the University of Minnesota in the NCAA Tournament with a similar goal, and in 2006 Sidney Crosby scored one just like it while with the Rimouski Oceanic in the QMJHL.

Twice before? That stretches credibility, as this move is quite popular in junior leagues around the world. And indeed, a quick look on the Web yielded several more instances.

Bill Armstrong has apparently scored a goal like that several times (two examples at 1:28), and claims to have pioneered the move.



As you may have gathered, those two goals came in the same week, so for him it wasn't a one time novelty move.

Mikael Granlund himself has scored a similar goal before in Finland's junior league.



And in 2008 U18 contest, though for a reason unclear to me that one was disallowed.



His brother Markus also scored a "lacrosse-style" goal in Finnish junior league.



And it's not just junior league stuff; "Zorro" goals have been seen in professional leagues as well. Here's Jani Lajunen, also a member of 2011 Team Finland, deciding an SM-liiga game on OT.



That was in 2010. If Granlund's goal is the goal of the year in 2011, that just means 2011 was slow. There was another high-profile lacrosse goal in 2010, in the playoff finals of Swiss league by Thomas Déruns.



So, yeah, twice before. TSN didn't even qualify that number in any way. I'm afraid the claim doesn't reflect well on TSN's hockey knowledge, or counting skills.

They do give Granlund's goal one distinction over Crosby's and Legg's.

But what made Granlund's goal extra special was that while both Legg and Crosby scored their goals standing still behind the net, Granlund pulled it off at full speed.

Much like Rob Hisey in SM-liiga. That's the reason Finnish play-by-play for Lajunen's goal called it a "Rob Hisey".



It's very unfortunate that Canada's series don't boast soft hands like that. Oh, Rob Hisey did it in another professional league as well, this time in Austria.



Of course, cool lacrosse goals seem to be his thing.



You'll note the clip is from TSN, so they can't really claim to be unaware of the guy.

Frankly, I expected better from TSN. The Finnish media is, predictably, going banana over Granlund's goal, which seems a little unwarranted as it's not all that unique, but I would have thought Canada's sports leader would have a little better sense of hockey history.

Really quick second round preview

My first round preview was 3/4 in the east and 2/4 in the west. Might as well have flipped a coin.

East:

Caps - Bolts: Caps.

Sure, Tampa can shut down Pittsburgh's pathetic offense, but not the Caps'.

Flyers - Bruins: Flyers.

Boston's impotent power play will be a bigger detriment than the Flyers' musical goalies. Evenly matched for goonery.

West:

Canucks - Preds: Canucks.

A foregone conclusion, I'm afraid, but I'll be rooting for the Preds.

Sharks - Wings: Wings.

Better coaching and experience will tell.


That's it. Caps-Flyers and Nucks-Wings in the conference finals; Wings-Caps for the Cup.

Ice hockey world championships preview 2011

To get us started, here's a look at what the men's hockey world looks like coming into 2011. The countries in red are playing in the world championships proper. The orange countries make up the first division, the greens division II and the blues are competing in the third division. Each year, two countries from each are relegated and two promoted to the next level.

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On to the tournament! As usual, there are four starting groups, two in each host city, which amalgamate into two larger groups for the next round to determine the playoff matchups.

Group A (Bratislava): Russia, Slovakia, Germany, Slovenia.
Group B (Košice): Canada, Switzerland, Belarus, France.
Group C (Košice): Sweden, United States, Norway, Austria.
Group D (Bratislava): Finland, Czech Republic, Latvia, Denmark

Groups A and D form one qualifying round group, with B and C forming another.

Here's my thoughts on the teams, with their finish in last year's championship indicated.


Group A:

Russia - 2nd

Having lost the final game last year to the Czechs, the Russians should be hungry, and they have a good team this year. Then again, you never know with these guys. Needless to say, going home without a medal would be a huge disappointment, and I expect to see them first or second in the qualifying round and in the final.

Slovakia - 12th

Home tournaments are a funny thing. Generally, the host country will either do well, boosted by the home crowd and their pride in playing in front of their fans, or they'll crash and burn spectacularly because of the pressure. I'm not sure which Slovakia is going to do here, but I'm pessimistic. On the one hand, they have an impressive lineup, all the way from world champions Miroslav Satan on down, with the superb Jaroslav Halak in goal. On the other, I saw the practice games they played against Team Finland, where they were absolutely rubbish. Coach Glen Hanlon's uninspiring trap won't serve too well here either. Last year, they finished a dismal 12th, and this year they'll be hard-pressed to secure an advantageous quarterfinal berth in a tough qualifying round. I hate to say it, but I'm afraid the home fans will be disappointed this year.

Germany - 4th

The Germans surpassed themselves last year with a place in the bronze medal game. With their low world ranking, they'll need to beat either the Russians, Slovaks, Czechs or Finns to get a quarterfinal place. Keep an eye on the Germany-Slovakia game in the opening round on May 3rd; it's going to be a big one for the home team.

Slovenia - promoted from 1st division

Finally, the country that gave us Laibach, Mina Špiler and Anže Kopitar is back in the world championships. I'm a big fan of Slovenia, but they'll need to pull a major upset to avoid the relegation round. Their real fight is there, and it'll be tough.


Group B:

Canada - 7th

It's a common refrain among Finnish announcers and commentators that the Russians and Czechs, with what is occasionally and appallingly called their "Slavic mentality", are the kind of teams that either show up or don't. If that is to some extent true of them, both North American national teams are even better examples of teams where everything is secondary to whether the players happen to be motivated or not. The net result is that on any givevn day, it's next to impossible to tell how their teams will play. Last year, we picked Canada to win the tournament, and they crashed out in the quarterfinals. It's the same story again this year; on paper, the Canadian team is strong, but who knows how they'll play? An easy opening round won't help them get geared up for the tournament, although they've had surprising difficulties with Switzerland over the last few years. Only the qualifying round will give any idea how they're going to do.

Switzerland - 5th

My native country has really upped its game over the past decade or so, and can now be relied upon to show up in the quarterfinals and challenge the bigger hockey countries. Unless something surprising happens above or below them in the standings, they should have the fourth quarterfinal spot in this qualifying round locked down. A win there would be a major upset, so they'll likely finish with a similar rank this year as before.

Belarus - 10th

An enigmatic team, sometimes Belarus pulls off a proper upset, and not always with help from Tommy Salo's glove. In fairness, it was the team in front of him that lost the game, but the Swedes prefer to blame Salo because he has a Finnish name. Expect a finish in the qualifying round, as they shouldn't have much trouble putting France away.

France - 14th

The plucky French team has had a surprisingly good showing at the world champs. A few years ago in Canada, they would even have beaten Sweden if the refs didn't always heavily favor the higher-ranked countries. This year, the fight in the relegation round is likely to be stiff enough that the French will, unfortunately, lose the tournament and end up back in the first division.


Group C:

Sweden - 3rd

Bengt-Åke Gustafsson ended his national team coaching career in an, erm, memorable way last year, and the new guy is in this year. By all accounts, though, it's still pretty much the same Team Sweden as it was in Gustafsson's last years: straightforward, physical, even dirty. With a whole bunch of NHL players along for the ride this year, the Swedes should be a force to be reckoned with, but their abysmally bad offensive play in the last EHT tournament was a surprise. If they get their goalscoring going, they'll do well again.

USA - 13th

The US national team oscillates between an excellent, aggressive young hockey team and a total fiasco that ends up in the relegation round. We'll see which one shows up this year. They don't have a very difficult opening or qualifying round ahead of them, but while they should get to the quarterfinals, I expect that to be the end of the road for them unless they seriously overachieve.

Norway - 9th

Norway has been a rising hockey power ever since making it back into the main championship tournament, and they fell just short of the quarterfinals last year. Look for Norway to do well again this year; at the very least, they should make life uncomfortable for the Americans and Swedes in the opening round and fight their way to a good qualifying round finish.

Austria - promoted from 1st division

Every time I've seen the Austrians play at the top level, I've liked them: they play an entertaining, energetic kind of hockey. This year, though, the Norwegians will be a hard nut to crack, and failure there will most likely mean the relegation round, which will be very tough this year. So I'm very much afraid there's a good chance Austria will end up right back in the first division.


Group D:

Finland - 6th

In hockey, Finland is a nation of goaltenders, checking forwards and offensive defensemen. Having said that, this is the first time for ages that Finland is going into a major international tournament with serious questions about its goaltending. It looks like Petri Vehanen from the KHL will take up the number-one spot, and that's not the level of goaltending Finland is used to. However, that's not the big problem; even the normal mix of checking forwards and has-beens from the European leagues at forward doesn't worry me. In fact, as far as forwards are concerned, this is one of the best world championship teams Finland has fielded for a long time.

The problem is, again, the D. If I go on about that, it's only because in my opinion, in hockey as she is played today, the defensemen are by far the most important part of the team. This year, like so many times before, Team Finland's management has been unable or unwilling to recruit enough solid stay-at-home defensemen for the national team. The team is once again overloaded with offensive or two-way defensemen, despite the fact that the defensive end has been nothing but trouble in the previous years. I don't know what the thinking is in the team management, but the Finnish media at least is unanimous in exaggerating the importance of goaltending.

Another extremely strange failing is the constant underachieving of Team Finland's power play under head coach Jalonen. It's bizarre that year in, year out, the Finnish power play is a confused mess. Watching the last EHT tournament, I couldn't even tell what play the PP was trying to set up. Needless to say, they didn't have much success. Frankly, when the players change but the problem remains, you have to look behind the bench. Given the lack of solid defensive D-men, Finland will likely struggle in both aspects of special teams.

On the good side, several players look set for an impressive coming-out championships. Finland's supposed sniper Juhamatti Aaltonen was worse than useless last year, but judging from his pre-tournament play, he's taken a big step forward. I still don't understand how the country that produced Teemu Selänne can call a guy like him a sniper, but this year he's using his speed to good effect with an energetic forechecking game. On the special teams front, centerman Petteri Nokelainen has been playing a very strong pre-tournament and will likely do well in that spot at the championships.

Finland probably won't do exceptionally poorly in the opening or qualifying rounds, but the odds are that in the quarterfinals they'll be facing either Canada, the US or Sweden. All are teams that play a straightforward, physical offensive game, which Finland's weak D won't be able to stop. Similar team, similar story: expect the Finns to drop out in the quarterfinals.

Having said that, I have a good feeling about this Team Finland that I can't explain at all. It's sort of barely conceivable that the forwards can make up for the team's defensive deficiencies and take Finland into the medal games. It's probably wishful thinking, but I'm feeling strangely optimistic.

Czech Republic - 1st

A year or so ago, it looked like the Czechs' hockey star was on the wane. After some lackluster championship performances and another thoroughly forgettable Euro Hockey Tour, the number of Czech players being drafted was in a steep decline. Then they surprised everyone by winning the 2010 world championship. This year, the EHT was a poor showing again, until their home tournament last weekend when they came alive. Jaromír Jágr is still with us and looking a lot like his old self, and in front of their fanatical home crowd, the Czechs played great in the last EHT tournament. Many of those fans will follow them across the border to what is, after all, nearly a home tournament for the Czechs. They'll do well again this year.

Latvia - 11th

Another waning Eastern European country, judging from their play in pre-tournament friendlies against Finland the Latvians aren't going to be terribly impressive. Another big opening round game will be on May 4th: Latvia-Denmark. If they can fight off Denmark and avoid the relegation round, they'll pretty much have maxed out the tournament. If Denmark wins and they end up in the relegation round, they'll make life very difficult for the other countries in there.

Denmark - 8th

Coming off an excellent eighth-place finish and quarterfinal berth in last year's championship, this year my favorite national team's first challenge is to make sure the Latvians, not them, end up in the relegation series. Sadly, they're not likely to beat the Czechs or Finns, but they'll put up a good fight. With good qualifying round games against the Slovaks and Germans, a repeat of the quarterfinals isn't impossible; on the other hand, a loss to Latvia will send them to the tough relegation series, where the Danes have unfortunately collapsed before. Out of all the teams in the tournament, they have the widest range of potential finishes.

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Next year will be a different year in Finland, with commercial television in the form of MTV3 handling the telecasts of the world championships. That may or may not be a good thing. They also did the Euro Hockey Tour this year, and there was a bit of a mêlée at the end of the Finland-Russia game yesterday after a hit by Tuomo Ruutu. He got a game misconduct, and the commentators were shocked and horrified by this terrible miscarriage of justice, because it was a clean hit!

Here's an appallingly bad video of the hit:

Sure, that's a clean hit. In an NHL game. Now, we're big fans of Tuomo Ruutu here, but on the EHT, international rules are in use, and that is as obvious an example of a hit to the head as you can ask for. His shoulder makes direct contact with the Russian player's head. When a player is hit in the head and injured, the player delivering the hit gets a 5+20 minute penalty and a game misconduct. That's the rule. And I would expect people who are paid money to announce and commentate on the game to know that.

Inexplicably, jatkoaika.com, who I usually consider a fairly good source of hockey news, insists the hit was clean because Ruutu didn't have his hands up. If they can point out the clause in the rulebook that says a head hit is legal as long as the hitter's hands are down, I'll be very interested.

The coverage on Yle was, to say the least, biased; it looks like MTV3 may be worse.

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So there we are! I don't feel up to putting together a detailed prediction this year, but unless something weird happens, I expect to see Russia, the Czech Republic, Canada and Sweden in the medal games, so business as usual. It would be nice to see Finland play for a medal, as well as the home team, but I don't really find either possibility very likely.

Until, that is, hours before this publishes on my blog, Anaheim's first line decided they're not going to show up for the playoffs at all and the Ducks were eliminated. There are four Finnish players on the Ducks' roster; if any three of them join, I expect a medal for Finland. A fourth line of Komarov-Nokelainen-J.Ruutu would be simply perfect, Toni Lydman would make me feel a hell of a lot better about the quarterfinal, and Saku Koivu and Teemu Selänne are, well, themselves. Like I said, any three of them join the team and I believe Finland will win a medal.

All in all, I hope we'll get another interesting championship like last year.

Sucker Punch

Just saw Sucker Punch last week. Of course, when I first heard about it, I thought it was a Tie Domi biopic.

My blog: your number-one shop for two-minute photoshops. Stay tuned for the sequel:

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Now to the actual movie.

I can't believe the bad press this movie has got. You saw the trailer and the poster, and based on those, you should have been expecting an action movie with console game visuals.

Well, Sucker Punch is that, and it's seriously cool. I mean, look at it.

The action sequences are awesome, and I absolutely loved them. As an added bonus, the soundtrack is excellent. The narration is very crisp, with none of the usual repetition and beating us over the head with the clue bat that we're all getting used to.

There is, however, a sucker punch that you really don't see coming. Namely, that this movie has a real, serious, feminist message. Now, this is apparently too much for some critics. To quote Wikipedia for a particularly glaring example:

A.O. Scott of The New York Times described the film as a "fantasia of misogyny" that pretends to be a "feminist fable of empowerment" and found that the film's treatment of sexual violence was problematic.

Since movie critics are herd animals, everyone's jumped on this bandwagon. Ooh, it can't be feminist, they're wearing short skirts and they're objectified.

I mean, oh my God, you can see some of her thigh. Quick, call Andrea Dworkin.

As a feminist, this enrages me. There is a serious, powerful feminist message in this movie, but it seems that our movie critics go so bananas when they see Emily Browning in a miniskirt that they can't detect it.

Without spoiling anything, the central theme of the movie is the way in which men can use the structures of society to inflict violence on women. The film treats psychiatry as a charade to enforce proper gendered behavior and as a form of violence, used by men on women to make them conform. The plot of the movie is victimized women fighting against gendered oppression.

And because they do it while looking hot, it's suddenly objectification.

In many cases, including this one, objectification is in the eye of the objectifier. I can't think of anything more demeaning, oppressive and downright patriarchal as dismissing this movie by reducing its female characters to pure eye candy just because of the clothes they're wearing.

The film operates on multiple levels, kind of like Inception except that it doesn't suck. The critics seem to be totally fixated on the level that deals with sexuality, and can't see past that to the actual scope of the movie, which deals with psychiatry, lobotomy and patriarchy. Instead, the overwhelmingly male critics seem to be, quite frankly, thinking with their dicks. To me, and the people I saw the film with, characterizing it as pornography is appalling. That's seriously not far removed from calling Schindler's List a glorification of genocide.

But this is the world of movies. Had the same crew and cast made a dreary, depressing drama movie about a woman wrongly committed to a mental institution, the same reviewers would be hailing it as a wonderful paean to female liberation. But because it's a kick-ass action movie, it isn't allowed to have a real theme. If it has a woman in it, she must by definition be only a sexual object. The critics won't let her be anything else.

So in that sense, the film succeeds as feminist empowerment on two levels: not only is the story and theme itself a strong feminist message, but it very brashly exposes what radical feminism has turned into. The critics, in all likelihood believing themselves to be great feminists and doing a good thing, have taken a kickass feminist movie and in the name of feminism, condemned it for violating gender roles. The director is presenting women wrong! The radical feminist orthodoxy seems to currently be that women must not ever be presented as sexy, because that will always be objectifying.

So in other words, in the name of feminism, these "feminists" want to ban women as sexual beings from the movie screen. Female sexuality is only allowed to appear in strictly controlled, radical-feminist-approved contexts like a homemade porn movie shot with a cellphone camera that gets shown at movie festivals. If a female feminist director makes a movie about kickass women, that's great and empowering, but if a male director makes a Hollywood movie that's feminist and kicks ass, that's horrible objectification.

You know what? Fuck you. I thoroughly enjoyed Sucker Punch, and I think it has a very powerful and important message. That so many critics can't be bothered to watch it as a serious movie with a serious message but print their knee-jerk dismissal just confirms me in my belief that movie critics are among the lowest forms of human life to bedevil this planet.

So seriously, screw you guys. I'm going to go see it again.

2011 brief playoff preview

It's a good regular season when the very last game of all decides a playoff spot!

To start, though, I'd lke to revisit my pre-season predictions.

This is partly for vindictive reasons. After I posted my season preview, a writer at a Minnesota hockey blog got all sniffy about it:

Read about how the Wild have a scoring duo of Koivu and Havlat, play the trap, and are boring. Yes, it really was posted today.

To be fair, boredom is in the eye of the beholder; anyone who identifies as a Wild fan is unlikely to find the Wild boring. I, on the other hand, did. The other items are more amenable to verification, though. I'll admit we don't see many Wild games over here - they're mostly on at really inconvenient times - but last time I checked, namely the last game of the season, when the Wild turned the puck over, they settled into a forechecking formation with one forward up high, two deeper and the two defensemen behind them. Or, in numerical terms, a 1-2-2. Now, I don't know what you call that in Minnesota, but here in the old country we call that a trap.

As for scoring, guess who the Wild's top two regular season scorers were? Yeah. Martin Havlat and Mikko Koivu. I'd also be remiss if I didn't point out that I did predict the Wild wouldn't make the playoffs, and they didn't. So now, 82 games after the prediction that these guys got so sniffy about, I'd just like to point out that I was dead on the money.

Hey, Don Cherry does this stuff all the time.

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With that out of the way, I can say that overall, I'm fairly happy with my picks. I correctly picked five out of six division winners, the only failure being New Jersey. Now, I admit it's a big failure, but I was hardly alone in expecting them to do much better this season. Also, out of the teams I put in the fuhgeddaboudit category, none made it to the playoffs. In all seriousness, given the amount and quality of information I'm operating on, I think that went surprisingly well.

Now I'll proceed to destroy my credibility with some rather unoriginal but probably nonetheless wildly mistaken playoff picks.

The East

Caps - Rangers: Caps

Surely the Caps must win this series. The only way the Capitals' season makes any sense is if their new brand of less flashy, more solid hockey is designed for a playoff drive. If they fall flat on the first round against an opponent as anemic as the injury-riddled Rangers and their deep-playing goaltender, it will be a total disaster.

Flyers - Sabres: Flyers

The Sabres did well to get into the playoffs, and it looks like the change in ownership might have them heading in the right direction. However, given how strong Philadelphia was both this season and in last year's playoffs, it would be a huge upset if they got past the Flyers.

Bruins - Habs: Habs

I consider the Bruins somewhat overrated anyway, and the fact that the Habs dominated the season series should count for something. It'll be close, but my money's on the Habs.

Pens - Bolts: Bolts

This one is tough to call. It's tempting to talk about the up-and-coming Bolts and the seasoned Penguins, but in fact, there's been plenty of turnover in the Penguins' roster since their trips to the final, and some continuity in the Bolts from theirs. Overall, I think the more dynamic Bolts will win it; Bylsma's trap might have been enough to get the Pens into the post-season, but with their playoff MVP out of action, I doubt the Pens have the offense to win. It's going to be tough, and the first few games are key: if the Pens can frustrate the Tampa offense early, they have a good shot at winning.

The West

Nucks - Hawks: Hawks

I'm going out on a limb here, but this isn't any fun if you don't. I think the Hawks' energetic forecheck, the offense they get from their D-men and the playoff experience gathered over last year's Cup run will power the Hawks into the second round. Sure, Vancouver has a strong team, but their past few playoffs have fallen well short. The question is: have they taken those final few steps that will turn them into a postseason force? If so, they're favorites to be in at least the conference final, if not contending for the Cup. If not, the Hawks will kick their ass.

Sharks - Kings: Sharks

The same question goes double for the Sharks, who've dominated the regular season but failed in the playoffs enough times already. I think they'll do better this year, and the Kings still need several pieces more before they're ready for a really deep playoff run.

Wings - Yotes: Wings

If the Wings' last regular season game against Chicago is anything to go by, they've still got some of the magic that propelled them to the Cup. I don't see them going all the way, although it isn't impossible, but at the very least expect them to put up a good fight.

Ducks - Preds: Ducks

The Preds have been touted as the team nobody wants to face in the postseason, but in my opinion, that title belongs squarely with Anaheim. Again, it'll be a tough fight, but Anaheim's experience, physical play and offensive power will overwhelm the Predators.

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Overall I think that in many ways, the NHL is in a good place right now. I'm looking forward to a really good playoffs, with several excellent series coming up. There's a bit of everything: established teams with recent Cup wins, teams struggling to convert regular season success into good post-season play, young up-and-comers and a couple of real underdogs that might have some big surprises in store.

I can't wait for the first game!

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Before that, though, it's time to acknowledge an NHL milestone: in the last game of the regular season, one of our favorite players made hockey history. At 06:44 in the first period, Anaheim's Jarkko Ruutu took a two-minute penalty for roughing, which propelled him to a total of 1078 career PIMs, setting a record for Finnish-born NHL players. The previous incumbent was, of course, Esa Tikkanen.

The mild-mannered Ruutu (what? He's got glasses, hasn't he?) is an Olympic silver medalist:

And someone Jaromír Jágr will probably remember for a while.

It was a clean hit! Don't believe me? Watch the video.

And now he's the NHL's all-time Finnish leader in regular season penalty minutes. Go Rudi! We love you.

In a manly way, of course.